


Text Me Like One of Your French Girls

by jeyhawk



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Epistolary, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:45:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeyhawk/pseuds/jeyhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A love story told almost entirely in text messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Text Me Like One of Your French Girls

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Отпишись мне по-французски](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1578266) by [Savannah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savannah/pseuds/Savannah)



> For the lovely Dei on the occasion of her birthday. <3

**January 15**

Jared to Jensen: _I just googlemapped myself. I'm at the corner of xxx and xxx. Come pick me up._

Jensen to Jared: _What are you doing there?_

Jared to Jensen: _No idea, but I smell like lemon._

*

**February 3**

Jensen to Jared: _Why is there jello in my hair?_

Jared to Jensen: _This is very worrying… Is it strawberry flavored?_

Jensen to Jared: _I'm not going to taste it… Why?_

Jared to Jensen: _I woke up with Jello in my pubes._

Jensen to Jared: _And you tasted it?_

Jensen to Jared: _Wait, don't answer that._

*

**February 23**

Jensen to Jared: _You know the girl I went home with last night?_

Jared to Jensen: _You mean the drag queen?_

Jensen to Jared: _Way to ruin the surprise._

Jared to Jensen: _Dude, she had a beard._

*

**February 25**

Chad to Jared: _I think I have the clap._

Jared to Chad: _And you're telling me this why?_

Chad to Jared: _I may or may not have been using your towel for the past three weeks…_

*

**March 7**

Jensen to Jared: _I just woke up wearing your Pokemon boxers. Did we have fun last night?_

Jared to Jensen: _I would think so. I had them on when we went out._

*

**April 4**

Jared to Jensen: _Do you think we had sex last night?_

Jensen to Jared: _How so?_

Jared to Jensen: _Someone wrote Jensen was here on my dick with a sharpie._

*

**April 9**

Mike to Jensen: _To infinity and beyond. Spock is a milf._

Jensen to Mike: _Are you high?_

Mike to Jensen: _Pocahontas._

Jared to Jensen: _Gremlins._

Jensen to Jared: _Have you been smoking with Mike?_

Jared to Jensen: _No, I'm just about to watch it._

Jensen to Jared: _Make room for me, I'm bringing popcorn._

*

**April 15**

Jensen to Jared: _I think I just met the girl of my dreams._

Jared to Jensen: _What's her name?_

Jensen to Jared: _No idea, but she has legs to the floor._

*

**April 22**

Jensen to Jared: _I think I remember sucking your dick last night._

Jared to Jensen: _I think I remember coming in your eye._

Jensen to Jared: _So that's why it feels as if my contacts are on backwards._

*

**May 3**

Jared to Jensen: _I think our bodies are having a relationship behind our minds' back._

Jensen to Jared: _I'm inclined to agree. There's only so many plausible scenarios for plain yogurt to end up on my buttocks._

*

**May 6**

Jensen to Jared: _OMG she's here._

Jared to Jensen: _Who?_

Jensen to Jared: _My dream girl._

Jared to Jensen: _Summer Glau is there???_

Jensen to Jared: _No the other one. Shit, she's coming this way. What should I do?_

Jared to Jensen: _Say hi._

Jensen to Jared: _I threw up on her shoes…_

*

**May 11**

Jared to Jensen: _You and me, Jack, Jim and José tonight?_

Jensen to Jared: _I'm taking Dani out to dinner to make up for the shoe incident._

Jared to Jensen: _Don't drink!_

Jensen to Jared: _Say hi to José from me._

2.10 a.m. 

Jared to Jensen: _I'm pretty sure Jose just told you to go fuck yourself… Through my nose._

*

**Date:** May 18

Chad to Jared: _It's just you and me tonight, right?_

Jared to Chad: _Yeah, I guess._

Chad to Jared: _Don't sound so happy about it. There might still be surprise butt sex you know._

Jared to Chad: _Is it too late to change my mind?_

Chad to Jared: _Oh yeah bitch. Tonight will be EPIC._

5.05 a.m. 

Jared to Jensen: _I love you man._  
Jared to Jensen: _Sometimes I think about you when I jerk off._  
Jared to Jensen: _I miss you._  
Jared to Jensen: _I just threw up on my shirt._

*

**May 24**

Jensen to Jared: _I woke up this morning with rug burn on my knees, my hip, my elbows and my ass. There's seventeen pics of your cock on my phone and an extreme close up of something that might be your navel. We're never drinking together again._

Jared to Jensen: _It's not my navel it's your asshole._

Jensen to Jared: _NEVER AGAIN!_

*

**May 27**

Chad to Jared: _Did you meet the girl wonder yet?_

Jared to Chad: _Yeah._

Chad to Jared: _And?_

Jared to Chad: _I like her. :(_

*

**June 3**

Jensen to Jared: _Wanna take a break from this cramming shit and grab something to eat?_

Jared to Jensen: _I'm sitting right next to you…_

*

**June 7**

Jensen to Jared: _I think I might be in love with her._

Jared to Jensen: _You haven't even had sex._

Jensen to Jared: _That's what makes it so special. Normally good head is the way to my heart._

*

**June 8**

Jared to Jensen: _I'm going home over break._

Jensen to Jared: _I thought we had plans._

Jared to Jensen: _Drinking impossible amounts of tequila isn't a plan. It's a disaster waiting to happen._

 

*

**June 9**

Jared to Chad: _I think I'm screwed._

Chad to Jared: _Did you get drunk with Jensen again?_

*

**July 7**

Jensen to Jared: _The house is too quiet without you._

Jared to Jensen: _Ask Dani over._

Jensen to Jared: _I did, she had plans._

Jared to Jensen: _I'll be back on Friday._

Jensen to Jared: _I'm looking forward to it._

*

**July 28**

Jensen to Jared: _Where did you go, man?_

Jared to Jensen: _Out._

Jensen to Jared: _Out where?_  
Jensen to Jared: _Jared?_

Jared to Jensen: _Just out. I'll be back later. Say hi to Dani from me._

Jensen to Jared: _Okay._

 

**3.15 a.m.**

Jared to Chad: _I don't know what to do._

Chad to Jared: _Don't ask me. I don't speak gay._

*

**July 30**

Jensen to Jared: _We did it._

Jared to Jensen: _And?_

Jensen to Jared: _I don't know. Call me._

*

**August 5**

Jensen to Jared: _How can I not be sexually compatible with my dream girl? How is that even possible?_

Jared to Jensen: _Again?_

Jensen to Jared: _Yeah. :(_

*

**August 14**

Chad to Jared: _In case you don't remember tomorrow: I just caught you and Jensen necking the upstairs closet._

**9 a.m.**

Jared to Chad: _I remember._

*

**August 15**

Chad to Jared: _BODY SHOTS!_

Chad to Jensen: _BODY SHOTS!_

*

**August 16**

Jared to Jensen: _I just woke up in your bed. Did we…_

Jensen to Jared: _Yes._

Jared to Jensen: _:( I'm sorry, man._

Jensen to Jared: _Not your fault._

Jared to Jensen: _Maybe I should move out for a while. I can crash with Mike._

Jensen to Jared: _Yeah._

*

**August 18**

Chad to Jared: _Your both idiots._

Jared to Chad: _*You're._

Chad to Jensen: _Your both idiots._

Jensen to Chad: _*You're._

*

**August 24**

Mike to Jensen: _I'm sorry to hear about Dani, man. Does this mean I can have a go?_

Jensen to Mike: _Fuck off._

Mike to Jensen: _So that's a no then?_

*

**August 25**

Jared to Jensen: _I hope you know I didn't want this._

Jensen to Jared: _Of course I do._

*

**September 1**

Jensen to Jared: _I miss you._  
Jensen to Jared: _Come home._  
Jensen to Jared: _I'm sorry I let you go._  
Jensen to Jared: _You're the best thing in my life._

Jared to Jensen: _Is that José holding the phone?_

Jensen to Jared: _I'm in love with you._

*

**September 2**

Jared to Jensen: _I just want you to know that I won't hold any 4am confessions against you._

Jensen to Jared: _Not even if I want you to? Come home._

Jared to Jensen: _Okay._

*

**September 3**

Chad to Jared: _The couch dude? That is not cool._  
Chad to Jared: _I sit on that couch._  
Chad to Jared: _I EAT on that couch._  
Chad to Jared: _I consider that couch my friend._

Jared to Chad: _:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D_

Chad to Jared: _Yeah whatever man. Congratulations._

*

"Mmm, I love body shots," Jared murmurs, dragging his tongue around Jensen's navel. 

Jensen laughs breathlessly and winds his sticky fingers into Jared's hair. "I'm not sure… oh… it counts if it's chocolate sauce."

Jared grins. "Of course it does," he murmurs, inching downwards. 

"Oh… holy fuck… _yes_." 

Jared would say something smug but his mouth is otherwise occupied. 

-

Afterwards they collapse on the bed in a sweaty sticky tangle and while they might have done this quite a lot in the past year or so, this part is still new. 

"I guess the way to my heart is good head after all," Jensen murmurs, pressing his lips against Jared's cheek. 

Jared hums in agreement and tilts his head to capture Jensen's lips in a slow sweet kiss. 

*

**Three Years Later**

Jensen to Jared: _I just woke up covered in rose petals, body fluids and bite marks wearing the gaudiest fucking ring I've ever seen... Did we get married last night?_

Jared to Jensen: _Yes._

Jensen to Jared: _Oh... So how's your presentation going?_

Jared to Jensen: _I'm so hungover I want to die and I'm haunted by images of my husband spread out and naked on our hotel bed. How do you think it's going?_

Jensen to Jared: _Amazingly._

Jared to Jensen: _Well obviously. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't get dressed._

-The End-


End file.
